Standing with the king

This is pretty out there but I have decided that I love bathing the twins. Not so much the bending down and getting drenched in the process but making them smell amazing and seeing their gorgeous little faces when I fill the bath with more bubbles than water. Today we spent the morning at the beach with a family friend and her lovely two girls. It was a beautiful slightly chilly morning but I found by the end of it even I was up to my knees in water drenching my leggings. I didn't plan on going in but little Martha’s face as she asks me if I will take her into the water I couldn’t say no. As we approached the water she clung to me tighter and I was reduced to breathe through my mouth as the stink of sea weed increased. I could feel she really wanted to go in but was afraid so I stroked her head and kept talking as I placed her into the water. Other than having her breath taken away she was thrilled and squealed in delight every time I splashed her. This was a moment I want to capture and keep close forever. She was a buzzing little girl after that.

The minute we arrived home however I peeled the twins clothes of and dunked them in a bubble bath smooching soap and shampoo all over them. It is extremely satisfying dressing a clean two year old who was smelling of fish and beach now of coconut and strawberries. See where I get the satisfaction from now?

Changing the subject, daddy has arrived in England and I received a message from him last night saying he has arrived, is safe, tired and that is it COLD. Go figure. I am so excited about him being there! It is such an opportunity for all of us. I do feel a little unsure about things as well. I missed him last night and was feeling sensitive about the whole of Process England.

After writing my last post I cried about the morning and how this process is ripping some things away from us. I know God has it all in his hands but it's still hard. I have already lost my friends; I lost them the minute school finished even though it will be another three or so months until we move I seem to be out of their lives. I didn't mind at first. I was the one who was constantly saying 'You want to catch up?' 'Do you want to come over?' 'Hey...' and so on. Half the time I didn't get a reply so in the end I gave up thinking 'If I am the one holding this friendship up, what’s going to happen when I let go?' and guess what happened? I lost my friends. The last few weeks I have been feeling frustrated. I was the one who was left to organise my own going away party. In the end I said forget it. That’s just not on. I said to myself if nobody is going to make an effort, neither am I. What’s the point? You would think someone who is already almost sixteen would need friends but we are moving. I would have lost them anyway. I will make new friends. It's ok. Besides, my best friend is my mum; she is the support I need. And God, standing with God is standing with a King. A king who I can call Father.

I feel excited about making new friends, going to a new school, having a new house, meeting new people, oh oh and getting my driver’s licence! By the time we have settled in I would have turned sixteen and daddy can start teaching me! All is good it just feels out of reach at the moment. I know that God will place it in reach when we are ready. I thank him for looking out for us. For keeping us from harm and guiding us with gentle hands.